As Halloween approaches, the spooky holiday reminds us of how fun it is to throw on a costume and a mask and pretend to be something that we’re not for a night. Unfortunately, this ritual of masking oneself is an everyday occurrence for many people who live with depression.
If you have depression, wearing a figurative mask can help hide how you really feel. “If I just smile, no one will notice my pain. Everything will be fine. No one will ask if I'm okay. I'm fine.” Sound familiar?
This sort of internal struggle is indicative of masked depression, a condition that can cause you to be unaware of your true emotions or conceal them behind a façade of physical or behavioral symptoms. Everyone else sees one version of you --- but the reality of what’s going on beneath the surface can be much darker.
Genuine emotional healing comes when we acknowledge and accept our real selves, even if that means we have to confront painful emotions. It's essential to understand how to spot depression hiding behind a mask, and how to be your full, authentic self.
What is masked depression?
Masked depression is a form of depression where emotional distress is disguised by physical symptoms or behavioral changes, which makes it harder to identify. It's different from our traditional understanding of depression, which may involve obvious feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or despair.
Instead, people with masked depression may not even realize they are depressed. Their depression manifests in ways that seem unrelated to mental health, such as unexplained chronic pain, headaches, or fatigue.
Unfortunately, masked depression often leads to misdiagnosis. Many people seek medical help for physical ailments without realizing these issues stem from their emotional struggles. Since masked depression can hide behind these symptoms, it usually goes unrecognized, so it's harder for people to get the help they need.
Signs of masked depression
Masked depression reveals itself through symptoms that are easy to overlook or misinterpret. Some common signs that you might be experiencing masked depression include:
Chronic pain: You experience frequent headaches, backaches, or muscle tension that have no clear medical cause.
Fatigue: You feel physically drained, and experience extreme tiredness that doesn’t improve with restful sleep.
Digestive issues: You often have unexplained stomach problems, such as nausea, constipation, or diarrhea.
Irritability or anger: Instead of showing sadness, you’re more likely to exhibit aggression or impatience, particularly toward loved ones.
Emotional withdrawal: You may distance yourself from friends and family, and prefer isolation or withdrawing from social activities.
Substance abuse: Masked depression can lead to self-medication with alcohol, drugs, or overeating as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions.
It's easier for people to identify feelings of depression and seek the appropriate support when they understand these symptoms as possible signs of the disorder. Just because your experience doesn't line up with what we typically think of when you describe someone as depressed, doesn't mean this diagnosis shouldn’t be considered.
Why do people hide their depression?
There are a lot of reasons why people may decide to hide their depression from the world. For some, it's the stigma that comes with admitting you’re struggling with your mental health. The pressure of society can keep you in a cyclical state of waking up to hide behind a mask all day.
Also, in cultures where emotional vulnerability is seen as a weakness, people may feel compelled to appear “strong” by hiding their emotional struggles. Men, in particular, are more likely to experience masked depression. According to studies, cultural norms around masculinity discourage men from expressing sadness or being vulnerable.
Instead, men may show irritability, anger, or physical complaints, which can lead to a misdiagnosis — or the person may avoid mental health care altogether.
Additionally, there can be personal reasons for hiding depression. People may feel ashamed or guilty for struggling emotionally, especially if they believe they have no externally validated “reason” to feel that way. Others may fear being a burden on their family or friends, which causes them to suppress their true feelings.
How to be your more authentic self
Help for depression starts with you acknowledging that it's okay to not be okay. We are who we are because of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly parts of our emotional experience. We have to learn to sort through all of our emotions in the healthiest ways possible.
Here are some actionable steps to help you connect with your true self, process your emotions, and begin healing:
Self-awareness: Take time to reflect on how you’re really feeling, both physically and emotionally. Journaling or mindfulness exercises can help you become more in tune with your internal state.
Identify your genuine feelings: Don’t dismiss your physical symptoms as purely medical issues. Ask yourself if there could be underlying emotional causes, such as stress, anxiety, or sadness.
Attend therapy: Talking to a mental health professional can help you unpack the emotions you may have been hiding. Therapists can also provide tools to cope with depression in a healthy way.
Engage in self-compassion: Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Depression is a medical condition, not a personal failure.
Confide in trusted loved ones: Opening up to someone you trust about your struggles can provide much-needed support. You don’t have to carry the burden of depression alone.
Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say no and set limits with others. This action alone can help you avoid emotional overload, which can worsen depression.
Beat masked depression with Mood Bloom ™
Life isn't easy, and there's no manual on how to handle the many challenges thrown our way. It's already hard enough trying to figure out who we are in this world and align it with who we want to be. It's most important to stay true to yourself throughout this process.
Being your authentic self means embracing your full emotional range, even the difficult parts. When you acknowledge the possibility of masked depression and take steps toward revealing it, you can start to live a more honest and emotionally healthy life.
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